Pierced
Recently, I was at a men’s meeting where the topic was having our hearts “pierced” by the Lord. The speaker that day shared his testimony about this happening to him over being a missionary, and he wanted us to think of a moment in our lives where something similar had happened to us. What came to my mind was not one “piercing” but several, all connected to the same subject.
In the early 1990s, after my parole, different people would come up to me and say, “Gary, have you ever thought about getting involved in prison ministry?”
At the time, my response was, “Yes, I’ve thought about it, and my answer is absolutely, positively NO.”
I knew there were plenty of wonderful people who did that kind of work, but I didn’t think it was for me. And to be honest, I was still ashamed of what I’d done and was hoping that over time I could sort-of forget the whole thing had happened to begin with.
Fast forward a few years, and I was running my own window-cleaning business. I was washing the windows of a man named Mel in Monument, Colorado. As I was in the basement, moving from one window to the next, I noticed a framed photo on the wall. It was a picture of about thirty inmates standing in a group with Mel in the middle. I don’t know how this is possible, but for a split-second, I saw myself among them. All at once, I was overcome with emotion. I went down on one knee and began weeping. After a moment or so, I composed myself, stood up, and looked at the picture again. I wasn’t there anymore.
A few more years passed. I was now working as an associate pastor at a church. One day, I met with a lady from a ministry that mentors youths in detention centers, and she asked if I would be willing to let her speak at a men’s breakfast about her ministry. She handed me a brochure that had some pictures in it of some prisoners, and as I glanced through it, I once again saw myself among them. I immediately closed the brochure, gave the lady the go-ahead to speak at the next men’s breakfast, and thanked her for her time. As soon as she left my office, I shut the door, sat down at my desk, and began to weep again.
A couple of weeks later, the lady spoke at the breakfast and explained the mentoring program. They were looking for some volunteers to go to the youth offender’s facility twice a month and mentor someone. Even though I still didn’t think this sort of thing was for me, I decided to sign up.
I was assigned to a seventeen-year-old named Steve. I was to meet him in the visiting room at the facility every two weeks. From the start, Steve was friendly but didn’t show any interest in the things of the Lord, and I didn’t press him. I just sat there and listened to him talk about his life for a couple of hours while we played cards.
At the end of our first meeting, I said, “Steve, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but as you know, I’m a pastor, and pastors pray for people. So, do you mind if I pray for you before I go?”
And Steve said, “I suppose that’s ok.”
So, I prayed a little prayer for him. Nothing happened during the prayer itself, but as soon as I was in my car, my heart got so heavy, I could barely move. I knew I was not only feeling the Lord’s heart for Steve, but for everyone incarcerated. And for the next year, after every meeting with Steve, I would get this same feeling from the Lord.
Finally, the following spring, I met up with Mel for lunch one day. He asked if he could show me something. He pulled out his laptop, inserted a DVD, and said, “I’d like your opinion of this. We were given permission to take some video of some inmates for a promotional video for our ministry.”
He started up the video, and about halfway through I, of course, began to weep.
Mel stopped the video, looked at me, and said, “Are you ok?”
I said, “Yeah, I’m ok. This has become a regular thing for me. I see pictures and brochures of prisoners and then I think I see myself in them, even though I know I’m not there. And then I cry, and then I feel really foolish.”
Mel turned off the video and asked me to explain a little more. I told him about the picture in his house, and then about the brochure with the youth ministry, and then my experience at the youth facility.
Mel laughed. Then he got right in my face and said, “What is your problem, Gary? How many times and how many ways does it take for you to figure out what God is telling you? You know in your heart He wants you to get involved with prison ministry. What are you waiting for?”
At that moment, my mind went back to something my dad had told me as I was growing up. “Gary, if there’s ever something you know you ought to do, make sure you do it. It is better to try and fail than to sit around wondering your whole life whether you should have done it.”
Now, after all this time, despite my resistance, the Lord had gotten through to me. Soon after my lunch with Mel, I resigned at the church and went into prison ministry. Fourteen years later, and I’m still at it. What excites me the most is that it still feels like I’m just getting started.
I’m sharing this story for two reasons. First, I want to encourage you. I want to encourage you to take some time and dialogue with the Lord about your life. Is there something in the past or something recently where God has pierced your heart? Is there something you think He wants you to do and for whatever reason you’ve not followed through? It may not necessarily be anything you consider momentous. It could be something that’s small and stays small, or it could be something that seems small but then develops into something more as you take the first steps. That was my path. When I agreed to see that young man at the youth facility a couple of times a month, I was actually taking a small step of obedience, even though I didn’t know it. Perhaps it’s the same with you, perhaps not. Maybe it’s just a letter you need to write, or a relationship you need to patch up. Ask the Lord. He will show you. (If this newsletter is piercing you, you probably already know what you’re supposed to do.)
The second reason I wrote this is to express a little appreciation. Your prayers and financial giving continue to make all that we do possible year after year. Thank you!
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