Critical Decisions
Last month I shared the script for our Introduction to the Lessons for Life video series. This month I am sharing the script for Lesson #1. Several of the 24 lessons in this course deal with the importance of making good decisions. Although these lessons were written with prisoners in mind, we continually hear from many who have never been in a physical prison, tell us these lessons have been both informative and encouraging to them.
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With this being November and Thanksgiving around the corner, Susie and I want to use this moment to THANK YOU for your prayers and support of this ministry. It truly is inspiring to know we are not alone in this journey and assignment.
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This lesson is also available to watch if you prefer. Simply go to prisontalk.org and it will be on our opening page for the next couple of weeks.
Also… in the coming months we are going to be offering some other short videos for information and teaching. If you would like to be included, please send us your email address and we will add you to the list. You can send it to us in regular mail, or text me at: 719-337-8858, or email me at: gary@garyskinner.com
Happy Thanksgiving!
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Lesson #1
Prison Is Not an Option
This lesson is about making good decisions
Almost everything begins with a decision. Without much thought, we can all come up with poor decisions from our past, and probably more than we would like to remember. What’s interesting is that the same basic mental process is involved in both good and bad decisions.
Here is the process:
1. We find ourselves in a circumstance that requires a decision.
2. We try to gather information about the situation.
3. We evaluate our options.
4. We choose the option we determine to be the best.
5. We act on that choice and thereby make a decision.
There are a variety of reasons why people make poor decisions, but the following seem to occur more times than not:
1. We feel we need to act immediately and make a quick decision.
2. Sometimes We receive incomplete information.
3. Or, we receive bad information.
4. There are times when we make a decision based on selfish motives.
5. And sometimes we make a decision based on convenience.
Now, most of our decisions in life are made in the moment and without much thought. Things like going to bed, eating, and brushing our teeth are just a few of the dozens of choices we make throughout the course of a day that need no special attention. We just decide and do.
There are also some decisions in life that have to be made right away and without the luxury of contemplation. For instance, if you are driving a car and someone swerves into your lane, you must act quickly and decisively to avoid an accident.
But when it comes to circumstances that don’t require split-second decision-making, moving quickly is rarely the best method. Often, the best time to make a decision about something is before the circumstance is upon us. In other words, it’s a good idea to have a plan. For instance, if you know you have to cover your rent at the end of the month, it’s wise to decide how you’re going to pay for it well before the day it’s due.
Having a plan for decision-making also applies to matters such as whether we go to college, take a job, quit a job, marry someone, or move somewhere that affects our lives and those close to us, and it takes wisdom to apply some basic process so we make the right choices.
Before we get into more details on this, it’s important to explain why we are starting this course with a topic as simple as making decisions. Let’s face it: we have all been confronted with choices for as long as we can remember. Choosing is not new. But a good question to ask ourselves is why some people seem to be so much better at making good choices than others. One would think it has something to do with intelligence, yet some of the smartest people in the world end up in bad situations because of terrible decisions. Intelligence can contribute to better decision-making, but it is not a guarantee.
There are usually two types of influences that determine our habit patterns regarding decisions. External and Internal
1. External Influences would include: parents and other relatives who have played an important role in raising us as children, teachers, coaches, peers, religious leaders, and media.
The second type of influence is…
2. Internal – this would include: intelligence, conscience, convictions, discipline, self-centeredness, and self-esteem.
I am not going to go through all of these in detail, but I encourage you to take some time and think about these influences and how they have played a role in molding your life, and in particular, how they have helped establish the pattern of how you make decisions.
After you have thought about these, the first thing you need to do is let go of any feelings you may have about what you’ve had or not had in your life to this point. For example, you may feel you were dealt a bad hand with the family or families you grew up in. But even if this is true and you’ve suffered that disadvantage, using it as an excuse will not help you move forward in your life. Besides, there are plenty of people who were raised by lousy parents in lousy environments who turned out to be very good people, and have lived their lives making mostly good decisions.
Something else you will need to remind yourself of is that however terrible your past has been, it is not an excuse for your future. The philosophy of this ministry is that we do not care where you have been or what you have done. We are only interested in where you are now and where you are going. You must adopt this same philosophy for yourself or your progress will be severely hindered. You can learn from your past, but you must not focus on it or let it continue to determine your future. You may think you are too old or that you’ve made too many mistakes to change your future, but that is a lie and you must stop believing it. God has a plan and a purpose for your life, and He can work a miracle for you just as He has for so many others.
In closing, I would like to share a story I heard that will give you some perspective about this concept of making decisions.
Once, there was an eighty-year-old lady being interviewed by a journalist from a local newspaper. She had just recently finished walking from New York City to Miami, Florida. The journalist asked her how a woman her age could walk such a distance.
The elderly lady looked at the journalist as if it was a silly question and said,
“It wasn’t that difficult, actually. I just got up every morning, made sure I was facing Miami, and started walking. I would walk until I got tired and then rent a motel room. I’d get up the next day and do the same thing. Then one day I arrived.”
This may seem oversimplified, but it is the right attitude for you to get where you need to go. Just make the decision about what direction you are going to face and then get moving in that direction.
There are two decisions I would like you to consider making at this time. The first is a spiritual decision. Are you tired of living life your way? Are you ready to begin living your life with Jesus Christ as your Lord? Once you decide to follow God’s plan, then all you need to do is wake up each morning and remind yourself that you are going to follow His ways. It doesn’t matter if you stumble and flounder along the way, just keep getting up and facing Him.
The second decision is something I have found to be very practical and necessary for those in prison. Make the decision every day that once you are released you are not going back. You must eliminate prison as an option. There are many who have said the following shortly after being released:
“I’m going to try to do the right thing this time, but if it doesn’t work out, I know how to do my time in prison.”
You must eliminate that kind of rationalization from your thinking. If you really want to be successful, then prison can no longer be an option, just as the elderly lady on her way to Miami did not make going back to New York an option.
If you will commit to making these two decisions, I am not only hopeful that you will be successful, I guarantee you will accomplish more than you ever dreamed possible, regardless of your past mistakes or present circumstances. God bless you!